Editor’s note : MAC is back and plays halfway through the week, some of the Big Ten brands play badly and some of the SEC do not play at all. What does this mean for the top ten countries?]
Inspiring thought of the week:
I want to be famous
I want to be famous
I want to be famous
I want to be famous
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See all the news
— Look at the news, Iggy Pop.
Here at Bottom 10 headquarters, located in the abandoned Jefferson Pilot television studio, we still love live broadcasts. A week ago we couldn’t stop looking at the different emails because they were serving espressos and they managed to talk about the election night before the polls were closed.
Well, Tuesday night was our time to shine. And by glossary we mean that we take our weekly deadline for the last ten issues far beyond the comfort and patience of our editors. But we didn’t want to slow down the American public either, by writing some kind of forward-looking, supposedly aimless evaluation, when not one, not two, but three (!) MACtion games were scheduled that night!
A week ago, the press organizations met on election night. For JortsCenter #Bottom10, it’s our election night. #buckleup pic.twitter.com/YpyPbrjxql
– Ryan McGee (@ESPNMcGee) 11. November 2020.
We sent our intrepid field reporters from JortsCenter Bottom 10, who were on the field to determine the field for this week’s ranking, including games that weren’t on our site, uh, I mean, we filled out our Bottom 10 bulletins.
With apologies to John King, Brit Hume, George Stephanopoulos and Steve Harvey, who reached bottom 10 this week.
1. ULM (expressed in ULM) 0-8
While we were broadcasting live, the JortsCenter received a message from our emergency service that a trip to Georgia, not to Arkansas, planned last week due to the loss of 52-34 people, had been postponed. When we thanked the man who worked in the emergency room of ULM News, she reacted by shouting, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I said: Ulm, it looks like the newsroom’s collapsing.
2. Kansas Nyhouks (0-7)
CG jumps/falls from fourth to second place after treatment with Oklahoma 62-9. More than that, let’s leave it to Lawrence Kansas, live from Lawrence, Kansas.
Thanks, Ryan. We talked to a couple of Nyhouks about their plans for the upcoming farewell week and learned that most of the team was confused and actually thought last weekend was a farewell weekend, but it turned out they had a game against Oklahoma. Let’s call you back.
3. Tis-tah (0-3)
Other news, this time from Logan, Utah, where head coach Gary Andersen was fired after a winning start to the season in Utah. We now go live to reporter Johnny Utah, standing in front of the Andersen house.
Ryan, we ambushed Andersen from his house in Logan and asked him to resign. He didn’t answer our questions and left. But we noticed that his truck was partially torn from rear bumper stickers from Wisconsin, Oregon and Utah and that his license plate OPT OUT was marked. Let’s call you back.
4. Acron – monolithic (0-2)
The reigning champions always talk to the top 10 and make headlines on Tuesday night when they are in action on the road against Ohio. Lynxes used to be tough, but were lost until the 12th century. Times in 13 years. We’re live with reporter Leron James.
LeRon, I heard you’re from Akron, so I have to ask you, are you related to LeBron James?
Ryan, I’ll get right back to you, but I just realized I’m in the wrong place. You said in a speech that you were defending the champion who was on the news Tuesday night, so I’m in Baton Rouge. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Let’s call you back.
Fault! The file name is not specified. This week Santa slips into the bottom 10 of number 5. Photo by Scott W. Grey/Icon Sportswire
5. Santa Claus
To find out more about this story, Buddy Elf came to see us live from Santa’s workshop. Buddy?
Good evening, Ryan, the temperature is rising here at the North Pole, and this time it has nothing to do with global warming. Although St. Nick was always willing to work on his busy schedule to deliver the gifts on the 24th day of the event, he didn’t have time for that. December around any Hawaiian or Bahamas Bowl, sources say that he is not too happy with missing a whole list of conference championship games that have been postponed due to COVID-19. We asked him to speak directly, but he himself said Klaus was unavailable for an explanation because he was filling up with coal at Storr’s, Connecticut, and Randy Edsall’s camp. Let’s call you back.
6. UMess (0-2)
We now send him to Amherst, where the Minutemen have just played the second of three scheduled games and lost 51-10 to Marshall. Reporter John Parker is at McGirk Stadium. John?
Yes, Ryan, are the Minutemans in top form today despite their 2-0 record, a 92-10 loss overall and the prospect of their third and final game against Liberty, which are unbeaten and ranked 22nd in the country? Why are ghosts so big? Santa asked her to join him at Storses and help him fill Randy Edsall’s stocking with coal. Let’s call you back.
7. unLv (0-3)
The Fightin’ Tarks played their second home game in the brand new Las Vegas of the Raiders and lost 40-27 to Fresno State. We now go live to Joey Knuckles, reporter from the Las Vegas bureau, for the latest news… Joey? Um… (Clears throat) Joey? I’m sorry… we seem to be having technical problems. Joey Knuckles, are you there? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, switchboard tells me Joey’s not here. He was sucked into the rumba, the stadium in Algiers.
8. boiling green (0-2)
Akron wasn’t the only candidate in action Tuesday night. The Falcons hung up early against Kent State but lost a pin in the second quarter to make a big loss. For more information on this evolving story we were joined by Poyt Derry, a journalist standing outside the Doyt Perry Stadium.
Hello, Ryan. I couldn’t attend the Boiling Green Zoom press conference because I couldn’t remember my phone’s unlock code. But I talked to a fan of my hometown when she stood on the bed of her van and tried to watch the stadium. When Kent State scored 28 points in the second quarter, a BGSU Falcons fan in disguise looked down at me and said: At least we’re not the Atlanta Hawks. Let’s call you back.
9. Vandus (0-5)
Wendy lost to the then winner in Starkville, Mississippi, 24-17. In response to the constant battle of the Commode Doors, we watch Darlene Parton live from Music City. Darlene?
Hello. There’s a lot of controversy. That game against the state was the first pillow fight of the last 10 of the week that no one has ever heard of. Vanderbilt claims that Mike Leach filled his team’s cushions with cowboys. Well, damn bells, you’re all the ones where the horses sound like crazy and want to break somebody’s neck after the bells have rung. Do you see that? I even have a bell that I’m gonna ring so you can show me in front of the camera…
Darlene, it’s okay. There’s no time to lose.
Okay, call thing. Let’s call you back.
10. Non-Braska (0-2)
Corn has been lost in the northwest for the fifth time in seven years. We now go live to reporter Lincoln Rosenblatt, standing outside Memorial Stadium. Lincoln?
Ryan, this is a weird scene. From our perspective, we see a group of Huskers fans across from Stadium Drive, joined by fans from Tennessee, Michigan and Penn State. It looks like they’re unloading the DeLorean Doc Brown from the back of a low loader that just arrived from UCLA.
Lincoln, has anyone ever told you what this group can do?
I’m told they’re trying to go back to the ’90s. Back to the future, uh, I mean, to you.
Waiting list: Sir, accused Orange (1-7), Texas Battleships (1-8), Little Mexico (0-2), Missed South (2-5), EC-U (1-4), Owls Released (1-4), EC-U (1-5), Bail of (1-4), Minute Rice (1-1), Charlotte 2 and 3’yers, Duke Bedevils (2-6), Illusion Sounds (0-3), Pin State (0-3), FI(not A)U(0-3), US(not C) F(1-6), COVID-19.